Calorie — ‘unit of energy’ — the energy our body absorbs from food and expends during various activities.
It was intended to be a simple unit of scientific measurement; its role was to guide and inform. Sadly, the calorie now finds itself entrapped between the fitness boom and diet culture of the current era. The social-media circles of nutrition have twisted and abused it in the pursuit of more likes. Calories — the 21st-century version — are transformed and redesigned lean-muscular units that have taken over our lives!
Myriad theories of calorie intake and calorie deficits are influencing our day-to-day lives, pushing us towards levels of (unhealthy) obsession. This fascination with burning calories is leading only to mental burnout. The proliferation of hi-tech fitness trackers and smartwatches has only added fuel to the fire. These wearable technologies have gradually and fashionably crawled into our psyche and are now part of our regular ensemble, nagging us with frequent updates.
Food, the sight of which was supposed to stimulate the fundamental senses of smell and taste, now stimulates anxiety. Meals, once viewed through the lens of art, are now glanced at with suspicion. A delightful blend of colours and aromas has transformed into an evil apparition of mathematical calculation and percentage mix, glaring at us. This fact is more pronounced in those ‘pure vegan/fresh/organic’ eating hubs one regularly visits these days. The much-advertised ‘healthy dining menus’ that devote more space to the nutrients of a dish than its constituents: 350 cals, 18g/34g protein, 5g/9g carbs, 4.4g fibre, etc. Whether such nutritional claims are a matter of fact or fiction is anyone’s guess!
I, like many others in pursuit of an Instagram-friendly figure, fell victim to this evil dopplegänger(calorie 2.0) — living by spoonfuls of calculated fixations. A life of frequent prompts to tank up on water (thirsty or not), the last 20 calories of full circles (close to bedtime), painful and discomforting HIIT workouts, weekly weigh-ins; in short, a life of self-inflicted torture.
Yes, I’ve been there, done that and broken some! Governed by this new-age variant of calories.
Before I go any further, let me lay out my life a bit for you.
I am a mother of two and have been physically active all my life. I had a fitness routine of daily walks, occasional sports and mild exercises for as long as I could recall. Sitting in one place for prolonged periods had been a challenge for me. ‘Up and about’ is what I was used to. This inherent trait kept me fit for years — until it didn’t! That’s when the big ‘4-and-Oh!’ (40) made its presence felt! I was eating and exercising right, and health screenings showed no anomalies in my medical anatomy. Yet, to my consternation, that godforsaken scale started to surge!
I had my first child in my early thirties — a smooth and healthy pregnancy — out of the hospital in three days and back to work in four months. I juggled work and the baby with much ease. Giving birth and raising a kid strengthened me physically and mentally. Brimming with energy and enthusiasm, I often used to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Child number two came four and a half years later, accompanied by a move to a new country. This imminent relocation, with a 5-year-old and a baby in tow, put a momentary pause on my work-life and my fitness routine. We landed in Munich (which I call the health capital of the world), where the sight of lean, tall women — jogging, riding bikes, or carrying their kids in bike trailers — greeted me. This image of an extremely fit and energetic society was captivating and overwhelming at the same time.
Once settled, I went to check out the local fitness centre. However, one look at the swanky gym and another at the Claudia Schiffer and Heidi Klum lookalikes complexed my almost 5-foot frame out! Needless to say, I left, never to return!
But, I had to get back to my ‘pre-birth’ figure. So, I did the next best thing the city had to offer — took in the clean, fresh air and walked. My baby and I would stroll for hours each day, exploring a new path and a new park. Before I knew it, I was back in shape. Calories and the count thereof had still not featured in my life. This, though, was about to change.
The year 2019 was when we returned to our home country, India. The next year brought with it another menace — Covid — confining everyone within those four walls for what seemed like eternity. It played havoc with my vital stats. This was the time when ‘calories’ — or the thought of them — flashed through my wrist and into my life. All my efforts and attention were fixated on burning them.
Those 9k-10k steps weren’t getting me anywhere near a calorie deficit. Therefore, I threw myself into something I had always been keen on — sports — adding tennis lessons to my weekly schedule. An exercise regime alone, however, wasn’t enough. It had to be complemented by a strict diet. Subsequently, I changed my food habits (even though it was unwarranted).
The consensus floating online was that carbs are the silent killers. Hence, I took care of them. A no-carb meal plan was drawn out and set in motion, but I needed assistance to see it through to the end. That’s when those ‘health apps’ popped up. Every single hour was now spent monitoring the ‘calorie counts’. I began scrolling through various burnt-out routines, detox recipes, personalised meals, and whatnot to ensure that the count was maintained. According to my wristy trainer, I was hitting all the goals, gaining shield after shield in weekly challenges. Yet, I felt no sense of triumph.
These virtual trophies translated into depleting energy levels, restless days and sleepless nights, and a lack of appetite. On top of that, I managed to pick up a lifelong tennis elbow injury! Adding insult to this injury, the scale continued to surge. I was miserable.
Despaired and demotivated, brooding over this little struggle of mine, I went for my regular health check-up. My doctor of over a decade patiently listened to my concerns. She chuckled, smiled and told me to take it easy, to listen to my body and to stop punishing it.
“Stop competing with your 20–30-year-old self and embrace your 40s”, she suggested.
This was, of course, after all the health check-ups showed that I was in the pink of health. Hearing it from a well-reputed doctor (and a woman) made me question my new lifestyle.
Over the next few weeks, I poured myself into books on women’s health, nutrition, brain food, and menopause, to name a few. It was time to get the basics right, to be informed and not influenced anymore. I deleted those ‘unhealthy apps’ and replaced the smart with the analogue. The scale was placed strategically beyond my vertical reach, and unless I intended to break a leg or so, I wasn’t stepping on it anytime soon!
The attention turned now to activities focusing on the generation of adrenaline along with the preservation of energy. It was time to revert to my go-to routine — walking. A daily dose of this Vitamin W, mixed with occasional swims and easy yoga, became the norm. I took lifestyle tips from the previous generations — our fathers and forefathers — eating in moderation, avoiding processed food as much as I can, and taking regular sips of water.
Renowned author Luke Coutinho, in his book Small Wins Everyday, says, “In a world full of complexity, simplicity is a luxury we should all aim for.”
I was committed to simplifying my life!
It’s been months since I came back to my senses. I had to shift countries again, but this time the break did not drive me to the brink of insanity. Settled in the new place, back to my routine, I’m happy to say that I can feel that ‘restless up and about energy’ again.
Today I feel stronger — mentally, physically, and, subsequently, emotionally. Of course, there are those off days — days of aches and pains, bouts of unrest and sleepless nights — but they are getting fewer and far between. Whenever I miss a few days or weeks of exercise, I make sure to tell myself that it’s okay, rather than get sucked into the ‘guilt syndrome’. God knows we have enough of that already!
Calorie, a unit of energy, is just that to me now. I’m fit and living a healthy life without letting its nuances bother me.
In case anyone finds themselves trapped in a similar situation, I would request you to please STOP! Unless there is a medical or a professional reason for a strict calorie-conscious life, there is no need to fall prey to this calorie-induced mania. Simply (and literally) walk away, right now!
Instead, live your life in balance and moderation. Do a fun, sporty outing once in a while. Enjoy that cheat meal (without frequent indulgences, of course). Be regular with your health check-ups. Keep talking to your doctor. I cannot stress these two points enough!
Unfollow those 2-minute diet/detox plans and those lean Instagram bodies. They might not be the right fit for you.
Buy that swimsuit now(!) and hit the beach. Who cares what a beach body is anyway? Jump into that pool and make a big splash. ‘Coz, as my two boys often proudly say, “Why not ?”
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